PCV: Paid Caribbean Vacation

I've been noticing something recently and I will assume that anyone I have talked to from home or Belize can attest to it. It's either that or you don't notice because I'm not in that frame of mind when I'm around you and feel more comfortable. This may be the problem to begin with.

The problem: I talk too much, I talk too fast, I mumble.

What am I in such a hurry to say that I can't just relax and say it in a civilized manner? Why do I feel the need to get as much information out as fast as possible?

I was thinking about solutions to those questions when I realized one of the biggest changes that has been occurring while I have been in Yo Creek. While here, I do more listening than anything. This is mostly because people are speaking in Spanish and it takes an extreme level of concentration for me to understand anything. Then I either know how to respond but am timid, or I have no idea and just there smiling and nodding. Something I do very well.

Then I notice that when I talk to fellow PCVs or people from home that I suddenly have all this stuff to say. I've always talked a lot but I am noticing just how much I do it now, and I'm not really a big fan of it.

It probably has something to do that even when I do speak English it is mostly to people that do not understand my sarcasm, do not speak English, or understand English very well. When this happens, I usually find myself enunciating better, speaking much slower, and trying to not use words that might confuse people. Things like metaphors and figures of speech are an absolute NO NO.

While things take a lot longer and are often frustrating when speaking this way, I find that I am actually forced to think about what I am saying instead of just spouting off at the mouth. It's crazy how differently you speak when you know that what you are saying may be falling on deaf ears and you must try to make them understand anyway you can.

I think this type of constant interaction with Belizeans where I am watching what I am saying has really helped me to notice how different I am around those that know me. I'm not sure which me I like better. The one that has diarrhea of the mouth, or the one that takes all emotion out of what I say in order to be understood. I think some middle ground would be appreciated by all.

The thing I am finding so fascinating about my experience thus far in the Peace Corps is how often we just take language for granted. Have you ever sat down and thought about how hard it is to learn English? It's impossible! Spanish is hard, but there are very consistent rules that people can follow and not look stupid. English has no such thing.

Coming from a country that doesn't understand the notion of why it might be important to teach people more than one language, it is easy to forget how important language is to a culture and ,most importantly, keeping us sane.

It's a lesson I'm learning. It's coming slowly and I hope there is a middle ground that I can someday find. So next time I start getting excited and start talking too fast, too much... just tell me to shut up (especially if any alcohol has been involved). As for all you English only speakers out there, make an effort of trying to pay attention what you are saying instead of just talking.

It's a challenge, but it's worth a try.