PCV: Paid Caribbean Vacation

There stood two chairs divided by half broken table in a moldy room. One chair would win, one chair would lose. To one chair would go all the spoils. In every Peace Corps event, we try to have a little themed contest to give ourselves something to do in between the countless ice breakers and millions of other things that are important but we usually don't listen to. Then we head back to the GarDen and do stupid things like ass grabbing contests, hand stand contests, mustache bashes, limbo competitions, and the annual arm wrestling match. Many men and many women enter, only one of each emerges a victor.
Some take this very seriously while others pretend they didn't know what was going on. Let us compare our field. There is me, who know about it, but didn't care. That seems to be the majority of the field. Then there are people like Adam, who knew about it, joined a health club and has been getting 'ripped and shredded' for months in practice. Then enter Dave Thomas, the guy who just disgraces Cincinnati at ever chance. I will mention that he did make it farther than I did despite being 100 lbs. less in muscle but much stronger in heart.

Some came well dressed to the event, others came in their boxers. Sam claims to have had no idea and was sleeping but we pulled him out of bed in his underwear to compete. He made a strong showing and made it all the way to the semi-finals. A good strong showing from the village boy who chops entire farm plots with one swing of his machete. Sam is all that is man. He is like Everclear. Clear, compact but concentrated to give you a strong blow.

Greg brought his mustache. Need I say more? I think not. If only the bonds of his wax weren't stronger than his arms. At least someone in the family makes the family name proud.

Adam, the privileged Beverly Hills boy, trying to look ghetto against the reigning champ Coy. Many people had nicknames on the bracket. Coy was just Coy. It's all that needs to be said. He is Coy and will cook you a gourmet meal and beat you up all without breaking a sweat. He is just that good. Adam didn't stand a chance. Regardless of a gym membership or not.

The finals came down to Coy and Steven on the men's side and Kevina and Kristen on the women's side. It was clear from the get go when Kevina dominated Katie that we'd have a new female champion this year. Coy retained his title and stopped Steven from beginning Peace Corps' first ever trifecta champion. He had already previously won the limbo contest and the nicest ass competition. No small feet for either. He was just no match for Coy. Coy is Coy. Some will never understand.

Kevina, being one of the smallest women in the contest, showed that (contrary to what most women say) size doesn't matter. She blew through probably the top 4 women in the tournament with ease. I feel sorry for the next batch of volunteers because no one notices just how strong she is. Coy is easy to see by his huge arms and general physique, but Kevina hits you with a surprise attack. I guess it just has more to do with the name. Whether it be Casaletto or Kevina, she is too much for far too many to handle.

I'm going with the name. Kevin or Kevina. This is something big. I need to start training. I'll win next year and that is just one more step to the Kevolution of a lifetime.