PCV: Paid Caribbean Vacation

As I age, I usually try to refrain from going back to my inner child. The problem with this is it is just so damn fun and so easy. We pulled up to the hotel that Adam's host parents had stayed at before and all became pre-pubescent boys giggling like mad. No one else there (those who were not gringos) didn't get what was so funny.

The hotel was named Hotel Ucum. My first question was if it was a promise? Apparently it is not. My next question was wondering who slept in the room before me? I never got an answer for that one.

Someone told us this was one of the nicest, cheapest places to stay in all of Chetumal. When they said cheap, they weren't talking about the price. It was much more expensive than I would have expected to pay, about $35usd for the nicest room haha, and what we got wasn't really all that great. This may sound stupid after my last post, but I complain since they had no other rooms available besides the best rooms there. We expected big things. What we got was a room with 4 empty beer bottles, about 200 pistachio shells on the ground, a floater in the toilet and a 13" tv.

The tv was by far the best part of the room. By best part, I mean most comical. I wasn't aware of this before, but people must really like to steal tvs from hotels in Mexico. That was all I could think of. It was in a small cage that is welded to the wall. Adam, who weighs about 200 lbs. after a nice meal and a few beers, hung on it and it didn't budge.

While no one seems to know exactly what Ucum means, most said that it probably was something in the Mayan language and they didn't understand it.


The entire day, it did nothing but rain. As you will see from the pictures we attempted to walk around a bit but we preceded to get soaked. I was the smart one who only brought one set of clothes. Adam decided it would be best to remain wet at Ucum for as long as possible and took a little dip in the kiddie pool. He could have chose to swim in the adult pool, but at Ucum I guess we all have our preference on how we like to stay wet.

This was Adam's family, Adam and myself on the balcony of the hotel. Let's just call this the money shot. The family was a great help and for some unknown reason trusted me to get around a city I'd never been to with a language I didn't speak. I'm still alive


Ucum wasn't the only thing that kept us wet all day. This was some of the rain that never seemed to stop. Its not just rain either, its some of the hardest, most torrential downpour I've ever seen. Without a taxi in sight, we waited for a long time before just deciding to get soaked.

If you don't believe me, or if you want the Ucum experience of your own, please visit their website at http://www.hotelucumchetumal.com/


Now for some other random pictures of the weekend and the Expo...

Kermato? I think this may be where Jim Henson got his idea for one certain green frog.



Later in the night, we went to the Expo which was apparently the thing to be at in Mexico for that weekend. It was the last night everything was on sale. It was basically like a State Fair on crack. Only problem was, like you guessed... it rained the entire time. There was no one there unless you were working.

The one place we did seem to find people was at the mechanical bull. I was almost tempted to get on, but if I have learned anything down here in Central America it is to never draw more attention to yourself than you are already granted. Having this "clear" skin as they call it, I get noticed enough. I'll be damned if I am going to get up in front of a few hundred people and get embarrassed. Embarrassment is exactly what would happen, too. Not only because I cant ride a bull but because the thought process would have gone a little like this, "ooh white boy, lets get him! How far can we make him fly?" Only difference is it would have been in Spanish and I wouldn't have even known of my almost certain upcoming death.

What do people in southern Mexico know about snow? This is more for all those people up north complaining about your blizzard, road closings, school closings and below freezing temperatures... We have snow too! Ours even comes in a convoy.

This may look like a roller coaster. It kind of was, however, each car only head 4 people. We didn't see anyone get on it for 30 minutes so Adam and I figured since the Mexicans thought it wasn't safe enough to ride that it would be perfectly ok for us.

Yes, that is a mini horse and yes that is a 3 liter bottle of coke. I am not sure which one is bigger. Horse or the coke? They wouldn't let us ride him, but we did try.

This was Tope's (Toe-pay) big mistake of the afternoon. He decided he wanted some calamari. Thats squid for those of you who don't know, and its usually delicious. Not here, and it wasn't an appetizer like it usually is back home. Home for him is the UK but apparently he expected the same thing. He ended up getting 2 meals and half the bill. There were 4 of us eating. We told him it was his own fault for all the colonialism his country forced on the rest of the world for the past millennium . He was a great sport and told us all about how "Braveheart" is a movie based on absolute truth and how every single person in the UK lives in London.

Cow Hoof anyone? As disgusting as this may look, we hear they make amazing soup out of it and I someday hope to try it.

This is Adam showing off that his camera can take pictures in the rain. Good for you, Adam. I now realize that he was just documenting how well we fit in with all the common folk you see around us.